Journal-Diagonale

21 mars au 20 avril
Argent : 
Contrôle fiscal en vue. Vous allez devoir mettre la main à la Porsche.  Amour : Votre sourire est un atout de séduction mais vos dents jaunes, un repoussoir. Des solutions existent.  Santé : Commencez un régime car vous ressemblez de plus en plus à Depardieu..

21 avril au 20 mai
Travail :
La violence physique entre collègues n’est pas toujours la meilleure solution.   Amour : Des liens vous unissent à un scorpion ? Préférez la mort.  Santé : Gare aux portes qui claquent violemment, vous pourriez y laisser une partie de votre anatomie.

21 mai au 21 juin
Travail : 
Vous essaierez d’acheter vos collègues. En vain. Amour : Prêt pour de nouvelles expériences ? Votre partenaire n’attend que ça. Santé : En modifiant votre alimentation, vous retrouverez forme humaine. A vous de voir.

22 juin au 22 juillet
Travail : 
Votre train-train quotidien vous conduit tout droit vers une voie de garage.  Amour : Pas très compliqué de concilier vie de couple et libertinage. Mais vous connaissez très bien tout ça. Santé : Protégez vos reins. On annonce des vols dans le coin.

23 juillet au 22 août
Argent
: Mettez votre argent à la banque. Les voleurs connaissent toutes vos planques.  Amour : Particulièrement en forme, vous subjuguerez votre partenaire qui n’en reviendra pas.  Santé : Victime d’un mal étrange inconnu de la médecine, vous allez beaucoup souffrir. La religion peut vous aider.

23 août au 22 septembre
Travail : 
Pour éviter les mauvais choix, n’en faites pas.  Amour : Un capricorne vous colle au train et vous allez bientôt sentir son haleine chargée.  Santé : Vous déprimez pour rien, la perte de l’odorat n’a pas que des désavantages.

23 septembre au 22 octobre
Travail : 
Couchez et vous donnerez de l’élan à votre carrière. Amour : Vous aurez l’occasion de nouer des liens; autour d’un cou … Santé : Excellente hygiène buccale. Le reste laisse à désirer.

23 octobre au 21 novembre
Nostalgie
: Le saviez vous ? On ne voit plus de bossus et ils manquent dans le paysage. Amour : Les Cancers vous regardent de travers ? Comportement normal pour un crabe.  Santé : Vous dormez beaucoup trop ! Un jour, vous ne vous réveillerez pas.
22 novembre au 21 décembre
Travail
: Un collègue vous proposera un projet. Sachez que cette personne a fait de la prison pour escroquerie.  Amour : Ne vous laissez pas éblouir par des formes généreuses.  Santé : Attention aux fermetures éclairs (pour les hommes). Ça peut faire très mal.
22 décembre au 20 janvier
Travail
: Seule la mort pourrait interrompre votre progression irraisonnée au sein de l’entreprise.  Amour : Malgré vos yeux de biche, voua avez un caractère de cochon.  Santé :N’arrêtez sous aucun prétexte votre traitement ou les zombies reviendront, plus méchants que jamais.
21 janvier au 18 février
Travail
:  Vous pourriez abattre des montagnes mais aussi un collègue particulièrement pénible. Amour : Vous souffrez de solitude ? Des personnes sont prêtes à vous épauler contre pas mal d’argent.  Santé : Méfiez vous de toutes les drogues et n’oubliez pas que la came isole. De force ?
 
19 février au 20 mars
Travail
: Punition inventé par Dieu pour combattre l’ennui.  Amour : Votre partenaire a besoin de vous et principalement de votre argent. Santé : Le double menton vous pend au nez. Reprenez-vous.
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